I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
