I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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