So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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