I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
