Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize