You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
