He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
