due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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