if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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