Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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