if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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