I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
