i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I wear drunk well.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
