Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
