I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
