i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
