The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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