Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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