I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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