I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
