is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize