You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
