It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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