I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
