____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
