i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It was confusing and full of hummus
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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