When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
