My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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