wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
