I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
