i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Girls should come with a carfax report
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
