the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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