At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
