No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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