I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
