you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
