About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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