the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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