She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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