walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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