There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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