This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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