Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
