..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
