Say something about gay babies.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
