Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just found puke in my bra..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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