Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
