I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
