He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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