sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
