If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
