I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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