and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
