Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
