My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
