just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
