What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
