Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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