I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
