it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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