I'm jealous of your bromance
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
