apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
