Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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