that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
