last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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