Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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