Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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