I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
